Moms, Let Dad Be Dad

images dadsThat goofy teasing and hyper play actually help young children develop, according to new research

WSJ

By SUE SHELLENBARGER
June 16, 2015

When Kathryn Kerns asked 30 teens and preteens to come to her laboratory and talk about their parents, many of their dads scored low on a standard yardstick her research team was using to evaluate the parent-child bond.

The children described rich, warm relationships with their fathers, however, says Dr. Kerns, a professor of psychological sciences at Kent State University in Ohio. They said things like, “My dad gives me encouragement to do things,” or, “My dad tells me he thinks I can do well.”

To get an accurate assessment of fathers’ contribution, Dr. Kerns revised two assessments in her recently published study, adding questions about whether parents provided encouragement and instilled confidence, and the dads started drawing higher scores.

Dr. Kerns is one of a growing number of researchers creating new tests and techniques to document the father factor. More than a dozen studies in the past two years are yielding new insights into the nuances, and the value, of the seemingly random, sometimes silly play many dads engage in with their children.

The research could offer dads more leeway in their play with children, suggesting there’s no need for moms or others to worry when fathers stir up or challenge their children—as long as the kids are happy and having fun. Also, dads sometimes can stop a child’s fussing or crying through joking or physical play.

The ability to form close, trusting bonds with parents early in life predicts the quality of a child’s future friendships, social skills and romantic relationships. Parents serve as a secure base for exploration and risk-taking and provide a safe haven for a child in times of distress. Yet many of the standard assessments scientists have used to analyze the parent-child bond underemphasize the importance of exploration and risk-taking and fail to capture dads’ role in encouraging it.

READ ENTIRE STORY